I love black thongs
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You did what with his pubic hair?
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