well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
