All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
