She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
