Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize