Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
