I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize