Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
