YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
