she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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