i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
