tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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