how can u be prego again
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
