I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
