Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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