Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
40s are totally the cure
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
