i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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