No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
