Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
