I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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