So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
