Dual....:-)
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
