they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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