Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Sorry my hands just texted you
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
