it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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