I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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