If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I think I died a long time ago.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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