After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I cut my penus on the lid.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
