I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
