Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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