I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
