Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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