The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
