Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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