Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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