Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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