By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
