Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
