i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
