it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
