Tell her she can't have a vagina
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
