I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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