check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
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