btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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