im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
