so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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