oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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