in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Your cock deserves a montage
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
