I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
