I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
