11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Randomize
