Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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