Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
