i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
