He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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