Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
