We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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