bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
