I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
