Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
