hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
