just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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