You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
