whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize