i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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