i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
