I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
