so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
