I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
