Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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